all is well

It's been a rough couple of months. No, it's not that. It's been a rough couple of years. I started this blog having just broken up with my boyfriend, on the cusp of running a marathon and starting law school. Lot of stuff has gone down and I wish that I had the ability (the courage? the strength?) to write about it here. But maybe the purpose of this blog is to be a reflection of something else: my attempts to write regardless. To express what's going on despite everything. I wish sickness, loss and sucky jobs didn't exist but that's not where we live. And that's what we do: we struggle on and continue our lives in the face of a whole lot of stuff we don't understand or even like.  I'd like to think that's the brave choice. It isn't really but most of life isn't great acts of bravery. Life is the act of movement and choice: to keep going despite the odds and sadness.

I bought myself a necklace for my birthday, inspired by one that nienie wears (if you haven't been reading the nienie dialogues, well off you go:

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/). The necklace says "all is well". It's sort of a talisman. Not so much a good luck charm or a form of protection but something that grounds me and reminds me exactly where I am. And that's ok. All is well.

Welcome to 2011

Maltese knight

I had great intentions, really I did. I was going to write from my parents' house like a "real", hard core blogger.

It didn't quite work out that way: my internet access was sporadic at best and certainly not for any length of time. I ended up negotiating familial relations, battling passive - aggressiveness (and on occasion actual aggression) and watching my beautiful baby turn into a tantrum-y toddler (under the watchful gaze of both sets of grandparents) before my eyes. So yeah, blogging wasn't a high priority.

But it's January now - a brand new year. As most people know, I love a good make over and have some ideas about the direction of SadieBelle. We've been dormant for so long and, with the reawakening of the blog, we are experiencing some growing pains and are looking for direction.

Anti Tory sign in Marchmont

Among my blogging resolutions is to be a better or, at the very least  a more consistent poster. Another resolution regarding this blog is keep having local photos of Edinburgh. One thing I've been very proud of is the images I've taken with my little phone as I've wandered around the streets (picture me with a buggy, decked out in my parka and you've got a pretty good mental picture of how that looks: crazy). I'd like to keep up the Edinburgh - ness that this blog is beginning to have, that is to say a real sense of location and of place (all the while acknowledging that I'm very much a newcomer here) while keeping it very much where I started: someone who wanted to rant from the safety of her computer. More to come. Happy New Year!

Back in Black

We're back online! Again, some more ...



I was encouraged by a friend to try this again, so here I am. I'm a bit ambivalent: anyone who's my Facebook friend can guess that. The whole concept of an online presence kinda freaks me out. I'd love a place that I can use as a scrapbook, a bulletin board without the constant barrage of comment, reinforcement and god knows what of Facebook (can you tell I'm a Facebook burnout?)

It's been about 18 months since my last post which is a long time ago. Lots has happened: I'm not going to recount everything in this (or any) post. It would be silly in many ways, most people reading this don't need a rehash of my history. It'll come in bits and pieces, if it's supposed to. If not? Better left unsaid (or un posted).

I don't want this to become one of those "look
at me, at what I have & what I've learnt and aren't I great?" blogs (aka "bragging" - tm the ever wise Devlin) yeesh. Oprah's fine but good heavens! Some stuff should be private or at the very least not open to everybody's discourse. What have I learned in the past 18 months? That life is both greater and smaller then one can possibly imagine ... I'm older and wiser but that comes with a whole lot of experience and situation that isn't always pleasant. Hearing people babble on about their enlightenment en masse is really unappealing to me, and I assume most people really don't need to hear about my stuff anymore than I want to chat about it. If you are interested? Feel free to leave a comment.

Some things should be mentioned at the start of the new and improved SadieBelle: Sweet Pea and I were married this spring and are now living in Edinburgh, Scotland. We've been here for about a month: so far so good. Belle's with us and pretty much the same: stubborn, hilarious and always herself. Hard to believe she's 10 years old! A mature pup, indeed. I thank heavens everyday for my little family and how fortunate I am that I have them in my life. That's it, that's all...
xoxo