Not! withstanding

Tough Week

I choked in Contracts. It's the weirdest feeling in the world- you are so freaked and struggling and trying to find that word that will end the humiliation. It's just beyond anything I've experienced. Not bad (that comes later) just disorienting. I ended up pulling it together thank heavens: I'd briefed the case, so I knew it. I even shut down Tweetle's yammering, which the prof loved, but it was still pretty horrifying to choke. I'd like to say it won't happen again, but it will. I was prepared and ready and it happened.

And today? I was mean girled! Seriously mean girled in class. Little bee-yotch. She's on the list. Hard to believe that this could get so cliquey so fast but there you go. I was talking to a friend about this and she said that this was more cliquey than anything she'd seen since high school. So at least I'm not alone.

But you know? i love this. this is where I'm supposed to be. the long hours and lack of sleep are ok. I can see others crashing too: one of the guys in class just shut down today. It's nerves and exhaustion and the knowledge that it's another couple of months before a break is in sight. I wouldn't say that I'm thriving. I don't think anyone is. I am surviving.

Running Away
Tonight was the last night of the marathon clinic that I've been involved with. I've seen a couple of our people run their races, heard the stories from another couple people who were in Chicago. It's so wonderful to see people reach their goals (I cried seeing Blair last weekend and watching Ken the weekend before that). And I'm a bit jealous. I miss the training. While I've enjoyed the runs I've been doing lately and have loved the shorter races, I do believe there is another marathon in my near future. Gayle and I have tentatively floated the idea of doing one together which would be fantastic. She's awesome and I think my time would improve quite a bit under her tutelage. And it would give me something non law school to do.

What else? My sweetie is coming this weekend so I'll see someone from outside.

The fearless are merely fearless, only those who act in spite of their fear are truly brave.